Takes One To Know One… IVORY + NICOLE > 7/22/12


A long time ago, in a faraway land, WEAVE! recorded a 2nd EP, appropriately titled New Funk Romance. Days before the EP’s release, Ivory + Nicole talk K-town, SHREK, Richard Prior, Tony Toni Tone, and dare you to rhyme anytime.

Ivory: Howdy hoesen

Nicole : Waz up

I: Whad up Coolio

N: (smile) When did you start calling me that anyway?

I: Well after we left “Gangsta’s Paradise” aka K-town, it seemed all too appropriate.

N: Haha – remember our MacGyver K-town days?

I: Yeah, floor toms strapped to milk crates. Our mantra, “Tell that bitch be cool”. Members jumped in and out of the band. And no cashio (referencing Carnival cigs and $2.99 Takka Khan).

N: If I recall correctly, you asked me to play drums in your band Ivory Lee Hooker and The Sad Clowns when we first met – where beyond writing the songs, you also sang and did percussion tap (kinda the coolest). Tell me a bit about that band…

I: I lived in the builder – K-town’s very own ”848”. A half-assed commune if you will…  Despite my own apprehensions of indulging in being a musician (ex-boyfriends, karaoke mom, terrible singing voice, jank guitar skills), I decided wtf. All the band members lived in the building. And as naïve as I was (Ivory starts singing her own parody of ABC’s “Iesha”, but subs in “Naiva”), it was a road leading me to your 8th Street flat.

N: I remember! We met at my house warming party in K-town. Speaking of K-town… What was it about that place that served as a black succubus vortex?

I: For really dough! But at the end of the day, love has kept us together. So Seventh Sea, our first band together- I mean, come on… Preteen / PMS / the “Stains” fest. As beautiful as it was, the Kotex context wasn’t for us.  And after that you joined in on Licorice Piglet, and I became “Black Powder”.

N: Ahhhh, the mighty Black Powder. So this confirms your super-heroism, right?

I: Yeah, more like if my cape was a straw… Not to be confused with the present.

N: Dang… Self-deprecation is your middle nang…

I: On the real though Coolie, I’ve always respected your ability to keep it going. In a lot of ways you were my rock (Nicole starts singing “Solid As A Rock”). Organization nation wit your little Alexis P Keeton ash. That’s why when we did WEAVE! together it was so right. No bosses no bullshit, ya know? Two hookers doin it fo themselves. Hookers with hearts of gold.

N: Thanks Chives. You’re always tittin on top of my world (Lenny Kravitz reference). Do you remember how we came up with the name WEAVE!?

I: Ummm… Yeah… at Sharif’s house, makin’ fun of my hair… Fake it till you make it…

N: You always know when Ives has been at a party, cuz you find a lovely lock of weave in a mysterious place.

I: It’s oh-natural these days. Sometimes it’s good to go back to the basics, right Nicole??? That’s why we’re working on our new baby named, Sexual Castle.

N: Yeah, I hear she’s a multi-ethnic beauty. Do you know who the daddy is?

I: Wow… I’m thinking it’s a delicious Lasley, Alex, Phillipino sandwich – with Sayaka-Norris asian hair and an albino Cvar sheen.

N: Not to be confused with Charlie Sheen…

I: HOW is it that you can come from such a wonderful family and be such a douche? I mean Emilio (Paula’s husband- “Forever Your Girl”), Martin, Renee. WTF. However I will say, he took his roast with the utmost dignity.

N: Have you seen the Richard Prior Roast? It’s pretty amazing…

I: OMG. I’m almost ready to sacrifice jamming to watch that shit. I LOVE IT…

N: We’re watching it after this for sure. He TEARS UP Paul Mooney.

I: It’s so funny how comedy is largely based on the short-comings of others. Hence why we’re gonna roast instead of jam (smile)

N: Ivory, tell me what you have in common with the loveable Scottish green ogre, SHREK?

I: Recently it was brought to my attention that beyond the playground, beyond the club, below the stage, is insecurity. It’s a bummer that a bummer can bum you out. I might not be tall and green, but I’m short and mean. Certainly things are visually beautiful, however have we not all suffered the wrath of social code?

N: I know what you mean… In a modern society where the non-reality of reality in media is shoved in your face every 5 seconds, it’s hard to remember that your insides out measure your outsides 1,000 times over. It’s a scary thought that the generation that will be caring for us when we’re old and gray are currently being raised on such mass amounts of delusional bullshit.

I: What’s even scarier is that the bullied become the bully. Again, WTF. It’s so sad to say that we have not evolved beyond the playground, the club, the stage, the magazine page… For real. BULLSHIT.

N: WEAVE! did a European tour in winter 2009. Are the kids relationship to live music different in Europe than the U.S.?

I: Hells ya- they get down! Who knew that something we created in our bedrooms in 2007 would make it across the ocean?

N: Yeah, it’s a total trip in the best way possible. Kids getting down to our first EP- who would’ve thought in a million years… But I’m so happy it did!

I: H-to-the-y-e-A

N: So what were your favorite towns to play in?

I: Ummm… I’m partial to the Frenchies fo sho. Gotta a lot of love in Germany as well. London is EX-PEN-SIVE. But p.s. hooker face, you all the while were working your OWN row. Tell me about that Swahili Blonde muti-ethnic beauty?

N: Oh, you know… sun-filled hands, pans, and baskets.

I: Beyond Emily “Kuntz-Kinte”, you’re the blackest bitch I know, and I can say that because I am.

N: TRUE STORY. So back to Sexual Castle – our new “projects” development. I’ve thought of it so far as being the new KLYMAXX made of diamonds and pearls. What do you envision it as?

I: Ye Ye… Sex on the beach of course. Ummm… also Tony Toni Tone said it best… (Ivory starts singing) “It Feels Good”

N & I: We got peeps to roast (Richard Prior)- see ya all later. PEACE.